In LaLa Land

So I went to Los Angeles recently.  And if any of you know me or follow me, you know how much I love L.A.  Per usual I get approached by the kind of men that don’t faht my direction at home.  I didn’t get as many hollers as the last visit but there was one man that really had me swooning.

Picture it… Sicily Los Angeles, California 2017…we’re in a speak easy underground basement club. It’s dark, dimly lit, and mysterious af.  The DJ is rollin and the people are wall to wall.  It’s a tight intimate space filled with mixed races. The music stops and a second room is opened.  The space is empty and naturally everyone flows in.  I have no idea what I’m in for; in fact, I don’t even know the name of this place.

We were invited to this venue after my home girl legit chased these 2 guys down at Runyon Canyon after they passed up.  One of them was wearing an HBCU sweatshirt so I think we assumed he was probably into Black women.  Anyway, she catches up with the non-HBCU geared guy.  He was friendly and exchanged numbers.  It was our last night so we were looking to get into some mischief.  We had an otherwise well-behaved trip so it was time to turn uh!!! He recommended this dungeon like venue said they were having some special event.

Back to the scene, I scoped out a seat for us in the back corner of the venue.  It was so dark we could hardly see faces.  Oh, did I mention that we had no cell service???  We aren’t even sure if the guys who invited us were even there.  The live music roared in as they played soul, funk, and R&B grooves. Everyone was on their feet.  I mosey back into the 1^st room where the bar was located, certain it was a lot less crowded but soon finding out I would still have to wait to be serviced.  As I’m waiting my turn, I noticed this chocolate toned, Adonis big thick fine man walk by me.  He looked like he was a bouncer or body guard.  He was wearing an olive cut off sweatshirt and a matching Bulls hat.  He was bearded and did I mention big thick fine?  Oh okay! He looked my direction but he was wearing shades so I couldn’t tell if he was actually looking at me.  I was also thinking “WHY TF this knee grow got on shades in the darkest club on the planet?” Finally, I get a bartender who informs me there was a two-drink minimum. Reluctantly, I ordered 2 Jameson’s and ginger ales.  While waiting, I observe this brotha walk by another time.  I flash a smirk and slow blink, still not sure he sees me.  In case he does, I want him to know I see him too.  #ShootYOurShot2017 Hello!!!

My drinks arrive and I found a seat in the now empty booths and jammed out solo dolo.   Like magic, up walks big fine man and im like “I knew it!! I knew he was checking me out!!”

“Hey what are you doing over here by yourself?”

“My girls are in there.  Decided to enjoy my drinks out here.”

“Sooooo you didn’t want to spill your drink trying to get through all those people.”

“Pretty much!” We laugh.

“I’m Cedrick” he extends his hand.

“I’m Dev nice to meet you.”

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“No go right ahead.”

He sat across from me in the booth.  He proceeded to tell me what he was doing in this dark dank venue.  He told we were in a room full of musician superstars, most returning from tours and festivals including Coachella.  He introduced me to everyone that walked up.  Turns out he’s also from Chicago area with Southern roots and he knows one of my cousins.  He’s funny, extroverted, and family oriented.

“So are your single? Married? Divorced? Dating? It’s complicated? What?”

“Ha. You sound like me! You gotta ask all variations of a relationship status huh?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m single. Very single. You?”

“Me too. I’m surprised someone as curvy and fine as you is single.”

“Me too.” We share a laugh.  “Naw. It’s all good.  I enjoy it.  I love my job. And I haven’t found anyone that wants to be serious. What’s dating in LA like?”

“Yeah it’s like that here.  It’s not the south for sure.  Lots of women give it up too soon and are too easy with it.  They are trying to come up especially if they find out you do something that interests them.  I don’t believe in that.  My parents have been married for over 30 years.  I don’t do situationships.”

My God I have found a unicorn.  Fine, college educated, an employed creative, talented, Christian, relationship oriented, ambitious, extroverted, curvy girl lover…WTF is going on here? I think this is the man of my dreams.  Ok maybe not but I’m intrigued.  We talked for an hour and a half.  Most of the conversation was with his glasses on.  For a minute, I thought he was Musiqsoulchilding me but he took them off eventually and I could tell he only saw one of me.

“Let’s go check out the music.”

“Ok but can you dance?”

“I do a little something.” Flashes a smile revealing those perfectly whitened teeth through those perfectly shaped lips.

We listened to the music of the band. I danced a little, he watched but didn’t bite the bait.

“Hey I’m going to go find my girls.  I’ll be back.” He nodded and smiled.

Fenagled my way through the dancing people and found the best.  Her:  Biiiiihhhhhh I saw that big fine man you were talking to uh ha uh ha ha mmm hmm.”

“Bih mind ya bidness.  Just wanted you to know I’m alive.  Going to the bathroom then we can go.”

I think I was hoping for a few more sparks to fly between us but maybe he was being the gentleman he claimed to be.  I wanted a trip fling.  Not like sexual but just like a crush kind of thing.  We round up the troops and head for the door.

“You weren’t leaving without giving me your number, were you?”

Slow sexy blink and a sexy smile. “Of course not.” I give him my number followed by hug.  Sweet baby Jesus. I had to get on my tippy toes to reach his neck.  He smelled like sexy manly angels from heaven dipped in gold Creed and brown sugar.  Idk it was heavenly. “Let me walk y’all out.”

Fast forward to the present because I’m sure you want to know if things have continued.  As foine and nice as he is, sadly he’s just not THAT into me. Granted he thinks I’m beautiful and he compliments me often, however he has not made a single attempt to get to know me beyond my physical.  I initiate conversations, he initiates flirting.   When we do converse, it’s all about him. He’s career focused and although he loves the idea of relationships and family he isn’t making room for that, right now.  Annnnndddd I think he’s a bit of a ladies man.  LOL He is charismatic and he travels A LOT.  And honestly, I’m not mad at the brotha, like…NOT AT ALL.  He is doing exactly what I tell women (and men) to do; enjoy your life as a single person!! Don’t be obligated before necessary, and follow your passion and vision for your life.

I’m just happy to have transitioned to the place in my life where I listen to things said and unsaid. A place where flattery and physical attraction no longer meet the standard. I’m looking for substance.  I need more. So, I diligently observe people and accept what they present.  And at the same time, honor the things I believe I deserve.  I’m willing to let a well packaged man, who on the surface has everything I’m looking for, go right on his way because quite frankly he didn’t stop long enough to see bout me.  I’m still a hopeless romantic.  And when I look over my love life, I realize romance and someone that is truly into me is something of which I have been deprived.  I’ve never been swept off my feet.  I’ve never been like really pursued.  I’ve never been adored in excess. And I accepted that…from them. I didn’t make them work hard enough because maybe I secretly didn’t BELIEVE I was worth it.  They got my best with subpar effort.  But… not anymore.  So, yeah, I will continue to lust over this man’s fineness and artistry on IG.  Occasionally and casually respond to his flirtatious DMs but I’m going to keep it pushin.  On to the next… oh yes there will be a next 😊

-Dev