Curvy Girl Dating [Read+Listen]

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There is no one size fits all for dating big girls.  Variety is not exclusive to thinner women only.  If you have had one big girl you have not had them all.  We’ve all earned our curved stripes differently. Some may be new to this, others true to this. We have many different experiences as bigger girls and what I’m going to share as my experience may not be true for others.

For me…dating as a curvy girl is mad scressful bruh.

It’s this constant conscious awareness of your body style maybe not being the preferred style.  For example: online dating and social media: gotta post full body forward shots so you aren’t catfishing.  Or if your patnas are hooking you up with someone you’re like “you told him what I look like right?” Cuz although no one likes rejection there is something very ego bruising when they won’t date you because “you are pretty and smart and funny…you’re just too heavy.”

For the most part, I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin.  It’s not always the body I’d like to have, but I know how to fix that. So, I just roll with it cuz it’s the one I got right now.  I try to wear figure flattering things.  Curvy girl fashion has come a long way in 10 years!!! You can look flyer than the rest of them at an affordable price. Which is good cuz I feel like society is somewhat more accepting of the curve.  Brothas swooning over Jill Scott, Ashley Graham, Dascha Polanco, Jazmine Sullivan, GabiFresh! Shout out to them. Then you got all these rap songs that swear the like’em thick or chunky or BBW but I just wanna know….. where dey at though?!?!?

As cute and approachable as I think I am, I don’t get approached that often.

I often wonder if geographical location matters.  Like I’m in the south right so errbody thick.  Hell it’s some bad corn bread fed white girls in Tejas. So maybe this market is oversaturated.  I go up north I get a few hollers.  I go to the west coast I get a few hollers. One of my old boo thangs use to swear if I came to the east coast I would get him shot because brothas would be breaking their necks to holler.  So Im like maybe it’s cuz im in the South.  But then I see other sisters of the curve and they keep a dude.

When I am approached someone always has to say the wrong thing or I find out he’s a usual big girl loving suspect.

Top 3 most common unattractive pick up lines

“You cute for a big girl”

Bruh.  First of all….I’m just cute.  So you could have stopped there.  that’s like saying someone is cute to be dark skin.  As if only cute girls are skinny and/or light skin. I’ll never forget, I went on this co-ed trip and a chick was trying to holler at one of the guys not knowing we had a thing going on. She was slim averagely attractive she wasn’t ugly but her personality was wack.  So when she found out about us she says to him “oh that’s what you like?” He was like “I like women period but if you are asking if I would choose her over you the answer is yes not only is she prettier she has better attitude than yo ass.”  *insert shmoney dance*  so when dudes say stupid ish like that it shows me their ignorance.

“I like big girls”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh duh!!!!! I’m like you didn’t think this was a fat suit did you?! Clearly if you approached me in public and decided I was someone you were interested in then… you were attracted to my curvy body. It’s almost like are you trying to remind me Im fat? or is that supposed to be comforting?  Like “whew,!! oh my gosh I wasn’t sure if you knew lemme stop sucking it in and take off my spanx.”

Even if you aren’t into big girls you might just be into me cuz something about me is attractive or interesting or whatever. But telling me you are into big girls makes me not into you.

“You look like you know how to cook.”

I wish y’all could see the blank stare on my face. All fat people can’t cook.  And the assumption shows your faulty logic.  It would be better more logically sound to deduce that based on my appearance I like to eat than I like to cook.  And your inability to articulate that makes me think you’re stupid. And  either statement makes me think you are an ass. None of which seduces me to dating you. Now, I happen to know how to cook but I didn’t always that ish new bruh.

Top 3 guys that shoot game

Old men

These men are humble and understand that thick thighs save lives and hips and ass are healthy for child bearing.  They also come from a generation where that was appreciated and kind of the thing.  But here’s the deal old men give you worms.  I don’t want worms. I don’t even know what that means.  I just don’t want them.

Dudes with fat girl fetishes

These are usually pervs and usually some of you skinny chicks’ husbands and boyfriends.  They be sliding off in the DM cuz they don’t really want anyone to know that’s what they like.  They only invite you to their house or come to yours.  They are usually a friend or friend of a friend, so they shoot their shot on the sly and at gatherings.  They like all your damn pictures but never comment. Or they don’t like them and in person can tell you what you wore on Jun 25^th , 2015 at the pool party.  They might even take you out but it’s most likely going to be on your side of town or late at night.  Remember Malik on “The Game”? Remember when he was dating that gorgeous curvy reporter? #ThatPart

Listen Linda, I will be no one’s secret freak a leek.  For some reason, plus sized divas are also considered to be super freaks. Strange… Next!

Trifilin’ Good for Nothing Type of Brotha

Idk which one of you guhs made life hard for us but shame on you.  There is apparently this notion that big girls have low self-esteem and essentially will buy a bae.  As in they can’t get a man so they buy him stuff give him money let him live with them drive their car feed him screw him and take care of his dusty booty.  Listen Linda… No estoy aqui para eso. Soooo not here for that.  Ladies, big small and in between, you do not have to buy a man’s affection or companionship.  Let him be a man if he doesn’t want to be one you can’t make him one.  If you find yourself in this position, on behalf of all women everywhere…CHILL!!! Just stop.  Seriously, it’s causing the rest of us issues esp. the thicker Queens.

 

I just want to know where the regular shmegular degular dudes at that like them a little on the softer side?? Am I asking for too much?   Like where are the guys like Johnathan Kennedy (@dj4jay)

the fit model guy that likes curvy girls.  Read: http://www.revelist.com/body-positive/model-talks-fit-guys-dating/6560/johnathan-kennedy-who-goes-by-jay-started-a-youtube-channel-to-share-the-honest-perspective-of-a-fit-man-whos-attracted-to-plussize-women–without-any-fetishy-nonsense/1

Am I the only one that experiences this? Fellas, do y’all still like them curvy or nah?

Talk back to me.  I wanna know what you think.